afkempmarathon

Day 10.  I am sick to my stomach.  I don’t want to eat, don’t want to move.  I think it might be the flu.  I hate it because have to take care of my 13 month old and 4 1/2 year old.  I don’t want them to get sick.  I will wear a mask and wash hands every other minute to keep them from getting sick. 

Why is it when my husband is sick, I have to take off of work, wait on him hand and foot, even unwrap his starburst for him.  Get him his jello, water and soup.  When my children are sick, I take care of them so my husband doesn’t get sick.  Which I don’t mind.  I want to be there for them.  But when I am sick, no one takes care of me…. I WANT MY MOMMY!

My husband left this morning, and all he could say was, “Make sure you get the laundry done and put up.  Make a good supper tonight…”  All after I told him that I was sick.  Well, maybe I will lose weight…. always look on the bright side.

Today, I feel alot better.  Thanks to all buddyslimmers that help me.  I started drinking more water today, and I will only weigh myself once a week.  Today will be a busy day.  I have soooo much to get done.  My husband and I are taking a weekend trip together and leaving the kids with my parents.  We don’t get date nights, because we don’t have anyone besides my parents, who live out of town, to watch our sons.  So, we take a weekend away every 3 or 4 months.  Just me and him, just time to reconnect.  I am so looking forward to it. 

So, it seems I was doing the South Beach diet wrong.  I was doing it on the advice of a friend, and she was doind more of a low fat atkins, rather than south beach.  On her version I never got to have any carbs, ever!  She lost alot of weight on it, but man, I love my carbs.  And I can go whole wheat, no biggie.  I started to read the south beach book my sister in law loaned me, so I think I will start Phase 1 next  Monday.  I to use the food I have bought for this weeks menu first.  Phase 1 is rather restrictive, but the idea why makes sense.  Anyone have any advice on what their menus were the first phase?  And the book states you do it for 2 weeks, but can be done for a month.  Which is better? 

Thanks in advance, and thanks again to all that have been so supportive.

I was reading some threads, and would like to be on a weight loss team….

But how?

Does any team need anyone right now?  I thought this might be good.  I love being part of a team!

So, when do I see weight loss?  I don’t get it!  I have been exercising, eating right, 6 mini meals a day.  All good, whole wheat, low fat, low sugar!  I am a little frustrated!  I lost 4 lbs on Saturday, then weighed today and I am 1/2 pound heavier than I was when I started!!!!  That’s 4.5 lbs up!!! And I am exercising and eating right!  Need some words of encouragement because right now I am thinking why not just eat ice cream and enjoy staying the same weight?

Today, I am meeting with two clients.  I do this at a local cafe.  I will be very tempted to get the pastry they are famous for, but I won’t.  Then… off to my nieces first birthday party.  I thought it would look rude if I brought my own food and snacks, them thought, oh well.  I am in this for 6 days so far and don’t want to screw up already.  So, my own snacks it is!  Plus, it won’t look that weird, since I always bring snacks and food for my 1 year old everywhere I go. 

So, no pastry.  No cake.  Yes to planning ahead.

Tonight, I will do the eliptical again.  I did it last night, but for only 30 minutes.  I was just so tired.  But today I will shoot for 1 hour!

It’s been okay today.   I had to do my job… hehehe.  I am an event planner, so had to make 20 calls confirming vendors for my events.  Making sure they know what they are doing, where they are going, what time they need to be there.  Stuff like that. 

You know I find myself wanting something, then once I get it, I want something more.  I forget that I got what I wanted in the first place.  All I can think about is what I don’t have.  Then, good ole Sheryl Crowe comes on…. Soak Up the Sun.  There is a line in that song that defines complete happiness….

 ”It’s not about having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.”

 And there it is.  In front of me.  My sleeping 1 year old, so sweet.  My 4 year old, asking for an apple.  My dog, sleeping by the fireplace.  The pictures of good times with good friends on top.  My husband calls, asks how the boys are.  My heart flutters when I hear his voice, after 12 years, I still get butterflies when I don’t expect him to call.  I have a beautiful house, beautiful children, wonderful husband, very supporting family, great friends and all I need.  I have two strong legs that carry me, that I can have the joy to exercise with.  I have two strong arms to pick up my children and kiss and hug them.  To embrace my husband with.  To give high fives to my brothers.  What more could I ask for? 

Now me wishing I had that Coach purse seems so trivial.  Envying the people who are buying new huge houses, and expensive cars seems so foolish. 

It’s not about having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.  So true.  Look around.  Cherish these people, these times.  To know that you have what you want when you have it is priceless.

 So, I went to McDonalds today.  Let my son play.  I ate a side salad with Southwest dressing (100 cals 6 grams fat) and a side of grilled chicken (220 cals 6 grams fat)  So, not bad for McDonalds… 

Breakfast was a whole wheat english muffin with 1 tbsp peanut butter.  1 banana. 4 oz soy milk.

Snack was 17 Kellogs crakers which are AWESOME!  90 Cals!  Better than chips!  Tomato and Basil.

Dinner will be whole wheat pasta with grilled chicken and low fat alfredo sauce.  Green beans also.

 Then another 45 mins on eliptical machine, by the way, did it last night too!  WOO HOO!

I plan on taking a picture every week or two so I can see my progress.  And I am sooooo sick of avoiding cameras!  Time to face my fear, my monster in the closet and say….”So what, it’s just me and I am looking better and feeling better everyday, so take that pic today.  I betcha I will look a little thinner and healthier tomorrow”  Why not take the pictures?  I mean, when my belly was growing with a baby I took pics every week.  And with my sons, I take pictures of them everyday to track their growth.  And when people build their houses, don’t they take pictures to track it.  To one day say, “How did that piece of land become this beautiful house.”  And these are all happy times.  Weight loss and getting healthy is a healthy monumental time for me, so take all the pictures you want.  I can’t wait to look back at them, to track my progress when I am at goal or close.  Hey, those pictures just might help me in the future with the last 5 lbs!

I had to take my 1 year old in for his check up, and shots.  Before I left this morning, I ate breakfast, nutrigrain bar.  My sons had the same.  We were in a hurry.  Had an early morning appt.  I had to go shopping afterwards.  Bought very healthy foods and snacks for myself and my family.

 But what broke my heart today was when my son had to get his shots.  Now, I know that they keep him from getting some terrible and life threating things, but to have to hold his hands down while they put the shots in his little thighs breaks my heart.  He is looking at me as to say “Mommy, why are you letting them hurt me, help me.”  My older son was crying, telling me to tell the nurse to stop it.  Then, 30 seconds later, it’s over.  I am holding him and his little tears are now stains on my shirt.  And he smiles at me.  My older son, now on another subject, telling the nurse about his Batman toys.  But, I am still a little sad.  Even though I know it’s good for him, I feel sad that I had to see that look in his eyes.  Which leads me to another subject….  How can someone hurt their own children or anyones children in general.  Who are these heartless people?  How did they become that way?  I will pray for all the little boys and girls who are in the hands of these people, and pray for those who are now with the lord because of these people.  One news story comes to mind….

Well, today, exercise.  I did last night for 45 minutes.  Very impressed with myself.  Also, 150 crunches.  I truly enjoyed it, but wish my husband would not watch me.  He watched me on the eliptical last night, and kept asking me if I was going to go faster.  Now, he was doing it because he was trying to be funny.  I know that.  But, it just bothers me.  Hey, leave me alone, I am doing it.  I am exercising.  Just stop with the jokes.  I am in a better mood with my children, but I have been in a horrible mood with my husband.  Hope he can survive the mood swings that I will be going through the next couple of months.  See, for me, bad food is like a drug and I am going through withdrawl.  It will take some time till I don’t mind not eating it all the time, like when I see that little thing called “results”.  Till then…. ahhhhhh!!!!   I do want some candy!!!! But, I want to be a size 6 again alot more…..

I haven’t felt like I am keeping myself from eating anything.  I decided not to do a diet that restricts alot.  I lost alot of my weight the first time on South Beach.  But I limited myself to a very little amount of carbs.  So that’s probally why I gained it back.  I wasn’t going to be able to do South Beach all my life, so once I reached my goal, I started to gorge on carbs, because I restricted myself before.  So now, I have done my research.  I eat carbs, but they come from complex carbs.  Whole wheat.  So whole wheat wraps, whole wheat bread, whole wheat waffles.  And potatoes.  I am eating sweet potatoes because it is a complex carb as to a white potatoe is a simple carb.  I feel like I am going to be successful because I am changing the eating for the rest of my life.  Not just for a small amount of time until I get the weight off.  My weakness is candy though.  I have decided that every once in awhile, I can.  But maybe just in small amounts when I know I can control it.  Right now is not the time.  I am too weak to only have 1 mini candy bar.  The time will come, I mean, I am only on day three. 

I am getting my house in order!  Yay!  It makes me feel so much better when my house is organized.  I feel like the organization helps me in other aspects of my life too.  I just hate to admit it, because my husband is a freak about it.  I would then have to admit he is right . :).  I will let him know…. someday!

Well, day two and I am still here, writing a blog.  A small success in itself.  I came back. 

Not just a one day thing.  Wow when I stepped on the scale yesterday it hit me.  The 24 lbs I lost in June, well they found there way back.  Reality check.

So, I am working on the laundry, doing good with that.  Bought the Biggest Loser Families on a Budget Cookbook.

I had to take my son to the Dr. today (ear ache).  Appt. was right at my lunch time.  Could have made an excuse and ate the fast food.  But no, I made myself a veggie burger, cut it up and put it in a whole wheat wrap.  Added 2% cheese, 1/2 serving.  And a little light mayo.  Now time for snack.  Thinking about cottage cheese and peaches for my snack. 

I need to get that exercise in!!!  I will do that today before I go to work.  At least 30 minutes on the eliptical.

Did lose 1 lb from yesterday, but could have just been weighing at different times.  So always weigh myself in the morning before I eat breakfast.  Kinda hard fixing something for lunch for my boys different than what I am eating, so I decided that my boys and I will eat the same.  They need to be healthy too! 

I’ll be back tomorrow.  That’s my goal for today.